The Dogmatic Laws of Weluvducsoha are given through the co-founders and the MOHC in order to enable the cleve-people to live better lives.

Of course since nobody actually tries all that hard to follow the dogmatic laws, most of the laws that the co-founders created are designed to simply allow people to do what they would naturally do anyway.  For example, a dogmatic law saying that "if you hold your breath for more than a month you will die" would be relatively easy to enforce and therefore a good candidate for dogmaticism in Weluvducsoha.

The only other reason that the co-founders create dogmatic laws is to win a particular argument with either a heretic or with a particularly subversive or annoying member of the religion.  An example of what such a law could be is "Go sit in a corner and be quiet!"  Although this isn't currently a dogmatic law, maybe it should be.

Currently, the dogmatic laws of weluvducsoha are:

  • Thou shall not sing along to the evil song which shall not be named!
  • Thou shall not hold the company of persons of three sexes.
  • All persons of three sexes shall be comdemned to the planet of eternal sodemy.
  • If you are condemned by a co-founder of the religion, you can only be un-condemned by a co-founded of the religion...
  • ...It has to be that co-founder, not the other one.
  • Co-founders of the religion cannot be condemned.
  • If at any point in time the founders of the religion want to declare themselves the rulers of the universe, they can and they are.
  • Ian can be back in the religion if he agrees to write the book of Clevenisis so that we can have some clearly non-sensical statements about the origin of the universe. (note for Ian: It would be preferable if you maintained that the earth was shaped like an avocado.)
  • The meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything is most definatly 42
  • The world will end in Ninteen Eighty Seven
  • Cats are better then dogs, soha!
  • Thou shalt not deny that 9x6=42
  • All your base
  • Are belong to us.